For someone whose mind holds a calculator but her heart holds a mic,
And whose passion and profession do not abide;
That, either the sail or the rudder might be broken soon.
But till then she knows, how to hold the row tight.
While Behes objectively might mean a debating organization to you, for me it’s the essence of life.
For someone like me who wanted to spend her life debating on topics, thinking out of the box, and taking public speaking to new heights; but is now spending hours buried under books, playing with numbers, and dealing with taxes ; to be a part of something like this, feels nothing less than homecoming after a long consuming day.
As I go on to tell you my tales of Behes, you might realize that much of my pain is self-chosen, but let me assure you, all of my joy is self-defined too.
While I continue living my chosen life of being a Chartered Accountant, my inner conscience that remains unsatisfied, quenches its thirst of owning the public space, through Behes.
I have a two sided story with Behes. At the square of completing two years of association as a team member, I have been at all the positions- from being an intern to a team member, from being the youngest member in the team to now seeing younger interns around me, from being highly formal to taking out my fun side; but the transformation that is most special to me is travelling from the audience to the stage.
Travelling to a destination feels better when journey is good; but life becomes better when the journey is as remarkable as the destination!
Let me take you on a tour of my journey. A journey which is full of surprises, smiles and life!
For that allow me take you back to 2016, the year of growth , the year of revolution and the year when Behes made its way to Meerut and fortunately all the way to my school for a mini round. Here I take the liberty of assuming that you guys are well versed with the format of the Behes mini rounds.
I was in my class 11th then, the pressure of selecting a subject stream, deciding your career path and making sure that the career is well accepted by the society; makes you do unbelievable things. One such thing was done by me when I dropped my 4 years’ old plan of pursuing Journalism and decided to read commerce. The older plan was known to all, the latest one was unmapped.
The decision I made that day, shocked many. While some thought I was making sense, many believed that I should re-consider my decision. I was not in a position to answer anything, for when you don’t understand yourself, you can’t convince others to understand you. Many people believed that I had a plan that I was not sharing with anybody, but for the first time I didn’t have any arguments or reasons behind my decision. It was something that I just did without any concrete reasons. It didn’t feel good, but it somewhere, it felt right. The only thing that I was assured of was that I will go for any course but not Charted Accountancy. That was the only “plan” that I had, and that was the only thing I was sure of in that moment.
Going down the memory lane, I realize,Things don’t always go as you plan, they go unplanned to ultimately become the best.
Out of many things that I am grateful for in my life, there’s also a moment that happened just a month after the mindful decision. That day, out of the blue, my then English teacher - Ms. Dimple pulled me out of my class and told me about this Behes workshop she had already forwarded my name for. I agreed to it without a thought, for having a debating workshop in the school, was something I had never heard of.
It was not a big moment back then, but when I look back at it now, it gave me everything I live for and live by, today.
With the day of the workshop arriving, my amusement for the idea of skipping classes and attending it was gone. I was excited but was not looking forward to it. I even missed out on a few hours of the workshop on day 1 because of the other debate I was participating in. I remember being sleepy and unwilling to go for the workshop, but thanks to my over-excited debate friends, I was dragged to the workshop venue.
Little did I know then that I was just one decision away from a completely different life.
Surrounded by my friends, I sat in the crowd and I heard them out. It felt nothing less than one magic wand that shows you why other things did not work out, it gives you all that you’ve been searching for and there’s nothing but happiness and contentment , the same feeling that I get even now. Every day and every moment of my life that is now indulged in Behes.
That Behes round was nothing but an amazement and a door to a parallel world for me. It was an introduction to the big life ahead, appealing to me; a trailer to the unwritten- unknown story which made my soul unfold itself like a lotus with countless petals.
The Behes team then, was just an year old and was in a much primitive stage, with only the founding members working diligently to make a vision come true. This has always been the Behes spirit; you can only work here if you are driven by the idea of bringing a change and serving the community selflessly.
The spirit was same, but the things were a little distinct back then. To quote a few, Salil was thin and a young college guy; and Adil bhaiya had shorter dreadlocks but invariably melodious voice. I did not meet Nabhaneel then, but I am sure he was the same sweet person as he is now.
Those 4 days of Behes mini round were one of such days that I crave for, and really live in. The two days’ workshop was followed by a mini tournament of debating. I was doing the impromptu parliamentary style debate for the first time then. I admit I was a bit nervous but that kid inside me was excited and wanted to do everything that she could, making the most out of whatever comes in front of her. The kid that I missed out on for some time in the later years, and miss maybe even now; but thanks to Behes, it always makes me find my way back to her, back to me!
Believe me when I say that no matter how hard I try, I will always be short of words to justify the value of those two days of debating for me. They gave me a lot to learn and even more to cherish for life.
By the end of the second day, “The Best Speaker” award was in my hands; but the title of being “The Loudest Speaker” was something that was given to me by the spectators. Well it definitely defined me more throughout, became more popular then, and is still somewhere a little part of me.
The awards mattered then, but what matters now is the feeling that I derive from this association, every time I give something to it.
What is the point of giving if you expect something in return. Giving in true sense is the one which leaves you with a contentment that no return can ever justify.
Those days gave me what all I’ve now in my life and what all keeps me going. For sometime, it’s okay to not take the calculated decisions and just go with what all comes to your way. It’s okay to not feel good but feel right about something. It’s okay to not search for your happiness, instead, let the happiness find you. It’s okay to let life show you what it’s got for you.
I will leave you here with this note for now, the note that I left with from my school that day: curiosity and amazement; “ holding a desire to do something that keeps me excited. An urge to make it to the other side.
For if you don’t know which road to take, but you know you want to walk. For those who walk, will always find the way;” so that when we meet here next, we are on the same page, skimming through my life, re-living the moments again! 😊